{"id":376000,"date":"2024-10-24T13:47:33","date_gmt":"2024-10-24T12:47:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/?p=376000"},"modified":"2024-10-24T13:52:21","modified_gmt":"2024-10-24T12:52:21","slug":"doechii-interview-relationship-sobriety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/music\/doechii-interview-relationship-sobriety\/","title":{"rendered":"Doechii: \u201cI have always known that I loved women. I\u2019ve been very, very aware from an early age\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

The musician opens up about sobriety, her latest relationship, and the excitement of heading on her first global headline tour.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

WORDS ISOBEL VAN DYKE<\/strong>\r\nPHOTOGRAPHY JOHN JAY<\/strong>\r\nCOVER DESIGN JACK ROWE<\/strong><\/pre>\n
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When Doechii was 11-years-old she met with a pastor who prophesied her life. He told her that she would touch millions of people with her gifts, she just didn\u2019t yet know what those gifts were. 15 years and 10 million monthly listeners later, her abilities have become clear \u2013 the prophecy fulfilled. \u201cI was anointed that day,\u201d she explains. \u201cI\u2019m very aware that my purpose is to inspire people through music. I think that I\u2019m meant to mirror a truth about people. That\u2019s my purpose.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
It\u2019s bright and early in Los Angeles but the 26-year-old rapper is wide awake. She speaks gracefully but with intent. A true poet who has known herself, and what she wants, from a very young age. When we speak, she\u2019s seven days away from the biggest tour of her career so far. Sure, she\u2019s supported Doja Cat, SZA and Beyonc\u00e9, but this is Doechii\u2019s own, headlining lap of the globe. Understandably, she has a full day of rehearsals ahead of her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
\u201cI finally get to perform new music. I\u2019ve been performing the same singles for forever so it feels like a relief to get away from that old music and do something new,\u201d she says excitedly. The new music in question comes from her debut mixtape, <\/span>Alligator Bites Never Heal<\/span><\/i>, which was released in August to critical acclaim, with some even hailing it as the best rap album of the year.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
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The 19-track project is gritty, raw, playful, and astonishingly, only took her a month to make (bar a couple of \u201cvery old songs that [she] forgot about\u201d). The meaning of the title, she explains, changes for her everyday. \u201cI think that\u2019s what my favourite type of art does \u2013 it evolves and changes with time. Today it feels like as long as you\u2019re being vulnerable and you\u2019re showing up transparently and honestly as a human, you open yourself up to be wounded in some type of way.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
Of course, the album title also references the 1.3 million alligators that reside in the state of Florida \u2013 or, as Doechii calls it, The Swamp. Born Jaylah Ji’mya Hickmon and raised in Tampa, as a child she was bullied. As a result, she invented a new character: Doechii. It wasn\u2019t until high school that she began to thrive. She set her sights on Howard W. Blake School of the Arts, where she auditioned, was accepted, and unlocked the doors to ballet, tap, singing, cheerleading and gymnastics.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
It\u2019s clear to see how gymnastics has influenced her as a performer. \u201cThe way that gymnasts train is really, really tough. It\u2019s brutal and hard and difficult. But at some point in my gymnastic career I learnt how to embrace and really love pain. To view pain as me getting stronger and better. That caused a deep discipline that has never left me,\u201d she says. Surely, it also made her more competitive? \u201c100 percent. I\u2019m super competitive. I wanna be the best.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n
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Between training and high school, she began to experiment with freestyle rapping. She released her debut song on SoundCloud in 2016, followed by her 9-track project <\/span>Coven Music Session, Vol. 1 <\/span><\/i>and her debut EP in 2020. She went viral on TikTok with her single \u201cYucky Blucky Fruitcake\u201d, and then again with \u201cPersuasive\u201d in 2022 after becoming the first female rapper to sign with Top Dawg Entertainment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
For the past five years, like an alligator, Doechii has been laying low, disguised among the everglades. Waiting patiently for her moment to attack and sink her teeth in. She has built her gator nest on a foundation of hit singles (including this summer\u2019s \u201cAlter Ego\u201d), honesty in her lyricism, and sobriety, too. She has a clear view of success and knows what she needs to get there. Alcohol, drugs and nicotine were simply getting in the way.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
\u201cI was relying on a source outside of myself and when you rely on a source outside of yourself to create something, you\u2019re not creating from an authentic place, because you\u2019re not yourself. That\u2019s why my project sounds like it does. Because it\u2019s coming from me, it\u2019s not coming from liquor, it\u2019s not coming from a party environment, it\u2019s coming from me sitting down, being barefoot in my studio, balling my eyes out. Finally able to unpack something that I had been running from for a long time.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
“My project is not coming from a party environment, it\u2019s coming from me sitting down, being barefoot in my studio, balling my eyes out”<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
That said, the music industry doesn\u2019t exactly make it easy to go sober. \u201cAs a musician you go to a lot of festivals, there\u2019s a lot of club appearances, there\u2019s a lot of shows, and where there\u2019s music there\u2019s usually alcohol and drugs, recreational drugs and hard drugs that people use in the crowd, so it\u2019s always around.\u201d Disciplined as ever, Doechii takes a challenge in her stride.\u00a0 \u201cAt first it was a little bit difficult. But when you get a grip on your environment and you remove those things it\u2019s not difficult for me at all. In fact, it\u2019s actually quite simple and it feels good.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
Not only is she recently sober, Doechii is also recently taken. \u201cI think I\u2019ve always been gay,\u201d she laughs. \u201cI always knew I was gay. I\u2019m currently bisexual. I am with a woman now and I have always known that I loved women. I\u2019ve been very, very aware from an early age.\u201d I can hear the pride in her voice, though growing up in Florida, she hasn\u2019t always been able to embrace her sexuality in the way she can now.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a Black woman from the south, so it\u2019s different. There\u2019s a lot of racism and homophobia so it\u2019s hard, it\u2019s very, very hard. Even though I was aware, I didn\u2019t feel as comfortable until I started surrounding myself with more gay friends. I also grew up in the church, which is not to say that every religion denounces being gay, but it wasn\u2019t accepted in the religion that I was in, in my environment. It wasn\u2019t until I went to a performing arts school and there were a lot of gay people at my school. Once I had gay friends it was like \u2018OK, I can be myself, I\u2019m good, I can feel safe, this is normal, I\u2019m fine, everything is ok.\u2019 I have those same friends today and will have them for life.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
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Did she feel the need to hide her sexuality? \u201cI definitely didn’t feel like I could have pride. I wouldn\u2019t talk about it, but if somebody asked me I wasn\u2019t going to lie. So it wasn\u2019t a secret, but I definitely couldn\u2019t walk around as proud as I wanted to and that was upsetting.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
In 2021, Doechii made the move from Florida to California. And though Tampa is deeply rooted in her art and in who she is, she notes the difference between the two states. \u201cI feel hopeful about Tampa, but the rest of Florida still has a lot of catching up to do and it would be ridiculous if I did not acknowledge the blatant homophobia and racism that is spread in the south. There definitely is a difference living here in Los Angeles. It is a lot more liberal and [being gay] has been accepted for a long time, whereas Florida is just now catching up to accepting and treating gay people equally, which is sad. But things are changing.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
In 2024, as Doechii rises, so does a fresh wave of queer women musicians. Not only are we seeing greater representation, but women leading the conversation and at the forefront of pop. From Billie Eilish to Chappell Roan, Ren\u00e9e Rapp, Victoria Mon\u00e9t, Kehlani and MUNA, we\u2019re witnessing a celebratory moment in music history. Doechii is right there with them. \u201cIt feels like, finally. It\u2019s interesting that, if you look back in history, there were popular female MCs back in the day that were gay, they just weren\u2019t allowed to be as open about it as we are now. It has always been a thing, but it feels amazing that now it\u2019s not as hard for us.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
“Florida is just now catching up to accepting and treating gay people equally”<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
As for her own queer icons: \u201cQueen Latifah was huge. Madonna, of course. And for my generation, Lady Gaga.\u201d Much like Gaga, Doechii\u2019s fanbase is largely made up of the LGBTQIA+ community, and for good reason. \u201cBecause gay people love talent!\u201d She exclaims. \u201cTrue, raw, talent. And, I\u2019m gonna be honest, we just have great taste! I think that\u2019s why a lot of my fans are gay, because we have great taste and we get it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
Having had her first taste of drag earlier this year when she appeared on the cover of <\/span>Paper Magazine<\/span><\/i>, Doechii is hungry for more. \u201cThat was my first time doing drag and man, I fucking love it. That was so, so fun and so cool and incredible to explore and try, so I\u2019ll probably do it again, maybe for a music video. We\u2019ll see.\u201d Whilst she\u2019s new to drag, she isn\u2019t new to adopting characters. Not only are Doechii and drag king Ricardo two of her personas, she also made her acting debut in Savanah Leaf\u2019s <\/span>Earth Mama<\/span><\/i> last year.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
Are film and TV avenues that she\u2019d like to explore further? \u201cYes, yes, yes. I think I\u2019d do comedy or horror, or both.\u201d As for her dream role, of course, Doechii could only ever play another predator: \u201cI\u2019d like to be the star of an A24 film where I am the villain.\u201d Why? \u201cBecause I don\u2019t wanna be the one getting killed! I\u2019m gonna do the killing.\u201d Spoken like a true alligator.<\/span><\/p>\n
Alligator Bites Never Heal is out now.<\/h3>\n
 
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