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<\/p>“I\u2019ve been told many times that I brought the drama.”<\/p>\n
WORDS BY SAM DAMSHENAS
\nPHOTOGRAPHY BY THE CLAVEL\/KAT HENNESSEY<\/p>\n
<\/p>
Alexis Michelle describes her run on Drag Race All Stars 8<\/em> as – no surprise here – \u201ccontroversial\u201d: \u201cI take responsibility. I said what I said. I did what I did. Did I feel great about it then? Not necessarily. Do I feel great about it now? Not necessarily.\u201d<\/p>\n From her seemingly duplicitous lipstick choices to the hysterical outbursts that memorably elicited viral death stares from Jessica Wild, as well as her perplexing stance in the Kandy Muse, Heidi N Closet and Jimbo saga, Alexis took centre stage in a majority of this season\u2019s conflama. (Give her a producing-related Primetime Emmy now.)<\/p>\n While the Sister Mary Koontz<\/em> star arguably deserves her flowers for elevating a rather divisive season of Drag Race<\/em>, her social media has been a feeding ground for “possessive” trolls who “feel a sense of ownership” over their favourite queens: “I appreciate fans’ obsession with it. It is the LGBTQIA+ Olympics. […] Just remember that it’s a show for entertainment.”<\/p>\n Read ahead for our interview with Alexis Michelle, where she breaks down “the truth” behind all of her controversies, whether she had a game plan and why it’s important for online trolls to focus on “real foes from outside of the [LGBTQ+] community”.<\/p>\n So I\u2019ve been told! I\u2019ve got to say, I really don\u2019t think of myself that way. I generally just don\u2019t. It\u2019s not to say that I don\u2019t value who I am or what I do, or think the art that I do is not quality. But, I just don\u2019t necessarily see myself [in a comedic way]. But yeah, I\u2019ve been told many times that I brought the drama.<\/p>\n And I appreciate that, too, because there\u2019s been a lot of talk about my \u2018strategy\u2019 and my \u2018game\u2019. To be honest, I wish I had better game! Better game in competitions and dating. So, it is unintentional! I think the comparison to Alyssa is good, I agree. My god, to be in the company of such a legendary queen!<\/p>\n Going into Drag Race<\/em> the first time I was like, \u2018I want to do it all. I want to win.\u2019 I said to myself, \u2018You\u2019ve got to get halfway\u2019 because that meant Snatch Game. But this time around, I said, \u2018It\u2019s going to be out of your control, so be authentically yourself.\u2019 Obviously, it\u2019s great to show your talents, but I felt like what I didn\u2019t represent the first time was my values as a queen and an artist. And certainly, the queen I am now visually is very different from season nine. So, my biggest goal was to look a million bucks. I\u2019m very grateful to my designers for the hard work they put in.<\/p>\n I get the feeling that people will not consider me a fashion queen, not just for that design challenge. There were a couple other moments\u2026<\/p>\n You\u2019re very generous! I don\u2019t think it was ugly, but it was too simple. Something I wish they still did on All Stars is the rudemption runways. I was going to redeem that look. I\u2019ve got a vision! I\u2019ve had a sketch for years. It was going to be a fully structured, corseted satin swimsuit with breast cups, high cut on the leg and maybe a little off-the-shoulder moment. It would\u2019ve been heightened, beyond.<\/p>\n <\/em><\/p> Yes and no. This is not a ‘Blame It On The Edit’ moment, but people have to understand that we film all day – long days – and it\u2019s a one-hour program, so there are moments that get removed. Context gets lost. So you\u2019re like, \u2018I remember that, but it didn\u2019t necessarily happen like that\u2019 or there were other things that we didn\u2019t see that were part of the conversation. It\u2019s a context thing, which changes how you watch it and it\u2019s different from your memory of how it happened. I know I had a few controversial moments and I take responsibility. I said what I said. I did what I did. Did I feel great about it then? Not necessarily. Do I feel great about it now? Not necessarily. But, I do have to take ownership of it, for better or worse.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t want to minimise people\u2019s feelings or LaLa\u2019s experience and wanting to progress in the competition. Those are all real things. But, there\u2019s certainly no bad blood between me and LaLa, so people should really get over it because we treated it for what it is, which is as you said, a reality competition. To look at this through the most positive and compassionate lens, I think the beauty of Drag Race<\/em> is that it\u2019s so important to people, where they feel a sense of ownership over it. Within that ownership, they see us as theirs. There\u2019s a certain possessive quality. So, when somebody who is one of theirs is hurt or not treated the way they\u2019d like, they take it so personally. I\u2019m gonna tell you an anecdote that supports this. I had an experience where someone sent me a pretty ugly message and I had a playful retort back. They were talking about how bald I am and my response was, \u2018You realise you\u2019ll lose your hair for this, right?\u2019 About a week later, they wrote me back and said, \u2018I want to apologise for being terrible to you.\u2019 They explained they were in a car accident, lost use of a couple parts of their body and hadn\u2019t emotionally gotten over it. From time to time, they would spew hate at people and it made them feel better, temporarily. I said to them, \u2018I understand why you\u2019re doing it to me, but it\u2019s going to eat at you. Maybe this can be the end of that cycle for you.\u2019 I wish that person the best and hope they can heal and grow from that experience. I appreciate fans\u2019 obsession with it. It is the LGBTQIA+ Olympics. It\u2019s great what Drag Race<\/em> has done for the queer and drag communities, bringing it into living rooms. Just remember that it\u2019s a show for entertainment, and it is ultimately celebrating the human experience. Don\u2019t get confused by the sensational aspect of it, and just be kind to one another – particularly within our community when real foes from outside of the community are attacking us and trying to take our rights. Particularly our trans brothers and sisters, they need all of our support right now. As RuPaul said, these are diversionary tactics. The most important thing we can do is vote, vote, vote.<\/p>\n It\u2019s hard. Jackie Cox pointed out to me that it\u2019s so much easier for us as people to focus on the one nasty thing we hear, versus all of the wonderful things. As queer people, when we fear for our wellness and safety, we go into survival and protection mode. I think that\u2019s part of the reason. It\u2019s much easier to live and focus on positivity and love. It\u2019s easier on our bodies and minds. We all have room to grow.<\/p>\n I\u2019m well, thank you. It\u2019s really important to focus on real life because we\u2019re talking about social media, and that isn\u2019t real life. What I try to do is focus on real things. Last week, I had two sold-out shows at the Public Theater in New York City, which has been a longtime dream of mine. To have people laughing, screaming, crying\u2026 it was everything. That\u2019s real. Cooking for family and friends, that\u2019s real.<\/p>\n Let me shine some light on those rough moments! The first that people were up in arms about was me throwing Darienne Lake under the bus on our perfume challenge. Yes, I said what I said on the runway, \u2018Ultimately, this was Darienne\u2019s idea.\u2019 I was a bit traumatised, having gone through this same challenge on my first season and thinking we had done so well as a team, and then being critiqued harshly. I froze up when we were given the challenge. So when we were working together, I did speak up. I said, \u2018I\u2019m not sure if this idea is going to translate\u2019 but my teammates felt very gung-ho about it. I should\u2019ve fought harder and said, \u2018What about this?\u2019 because I did have the other idea. I want to say, it was a privilege to work with Jaymes and Darienne. They are funny, talented and pros. And so I\u2019m sorry to them, sorry for not speaking up. Contextually, it\u2019s important for people to know that I didn\u2019t just say, \u2018This wasn\u2019t my idea, it was hers.\u2019 There was a lot more nuance. This isn\u2019t cry me a river. But, if you look at some of the things I\u2019ve been criticised for in comparison to some other shit that\u2019s gone down on the show, I pale in comparison. It really wasn\u2019t such a big thing, particularly in the context of how that conversation went down. Darienne and I are cool. Before the show started airing, I spent the weekend in Rochester with Darienne and Kasha and it was a grand old time.<\/p>\n <\/em><\/p> First of all, this had nothing to do with me. Heidi has since apologised for dragging me into that. It set me up for more controversy because it looked like I was admitting to something, then\u00a0 taking it back or backpedalling – whatever you want to call it. Here\u2019s the truth of what happened and what you saw come over my face. Heidi was referencing a conversation between her and Kandy, where other people were present. There was an area where we would spend time while filming. I asked Heidi to remind me what she was talking about because I didn\u2019t remember what she was talking about – even now. So, she told me about where we were when this conversation happened and she said I was in the doorway and overheard it, but didn\u2019t say anything. Then, I left the room. So I said, \u2018Okay, very possible.\u2019 But I wasn\u2019t going to say, \u2018No I wasn\u2019t there.\u2019 I certainly wasn\u2019t part of the conversation. The reason I look so confused in that moment is separate from that. Off camera, Jimbo came to me and said, \u2018I feel weird. Heidi said she heard X, Y and Z from Kandy. Have you heard that?\u2019 I said to Jimbo, \u2018I haven\u2019t heard that, but I wouldn\u2019t be surprised.\u2019 That\u2019s not a dig at Kandy, it\u2019s just that we were in a competition. Kandy is competitive. So when I looked confused I was like, \u2018I heard about this, but in the way that I\u2019m being asked.\u2019 I didn\u2019t feel like it was my place to speak to what Jimbo said to me in confidence off-camera. It didn\u2019t feel like the time to be airing out Jimbo\u2019s laundry.<\/p>\n I understood why people were upset. Again, contextually it looks worse than it was. It looks like I was like, \u2018Yes I will save you\u2019 even though I never said those words. I\u2019ve been amazed at people\u2019s ability to either misunderstand language or their selective hearing. I did not make a promise that I didn\u2019t keep. I understand why it felt that way. I\u2019m not stupid. I\u2019m not being ignorant or dismissive of people\u2019s interpretation. But let\u2019s be real: I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n And the passage of time between that conversation and when I had to pick a lipstick felt huge. When it came to that decision, there was a lot to consider. There were a couple things that did impact it on an emotional level that had to do with me and Kandy; both having a history here in New York and being perceived a certain way by Drag Race<\/em> fans. That hit me at my core. But, I also looked at their comparative performance in the season. Whether or not that translated, that\u2019s what I was going off of. And if you look at how I voted, it was the same way the group voted every single week – until my elimination. The group all chose me because of the judges\u2019 critiques. Now, whether the judges\u2019 critiques were based on my performance, that\u2019s another story because I don\u2019t think they were. I have no resentments against the top three for pulling mine. And I know Jessica doesn\u2019t care that I picked hers because we all had to make a difficult decision. I know LaLa doesn\u2019t either. She said it was a lot to process at first, but she said she quickly got over it.<\/p>\nAlexis, I would like to shower you with praise for providing us with some unforgettable<\/em> entertainment this season. All Stars 8<\/em> wouldn\u2019t have been the same without you.<\/h3>\n
You and Alyssa Edwards both fall under the \u2018unintentionally hilarious\u2019 category, which is a great place to be, right?<\/h3>\n
Watching you this season, I never once considered that you had a game plan.<\/h3>\n
A design challenge sent you home on season nine and this time around, you conquered. Alexis Michelle is now a fashion queen?<\/h3>\n
Oh, the blue dress and the fur from season nine? What I\u2019m about to say will ruffle some feathers: I didn\u2019t think that look was\u2026 that\u2026 bad?<\/h3>\n
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<\/p>What was it like for you, watching the events of All Stars 8<\/em> unfold? Did it play out how you remembered it?<\/h3>\n
The word \u201ccontroversial\u201d in this context does make me chuckle a little bit because it\u2019s a reality competition series with drag queens. This is what the cast and viewers sign up for?<\/h3>\n
With all the anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric and bills introduced around the world, particularly in the US, it feels insane to me that queer people are attacking each other over a show that celebrates queerness?<\/h3>\n
It sounds like you\u2019re in a healthy place. The online backlash has been quite severe this season, so how are you preserving and protecting your mental health?<\/h3>\n
Shall we talk about some of those \u201ccontroversial\u201d moments?<\/h3>\n
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<\/p>There was a lot of confusion over what you did – or didn\u2019t hear – in Kandy Muse\u2019s alleged plan to eliminate Jimbo. What is the truth behind that?<\/h3>\n
After this debacle, you received a bit of flack for your lipstick choices: LaLa and then Jessica. What did you make of that?<\/h3>\n
Didn\u2019t you just say, \u2018I will never forget this\u2019?<\/h3>\n
In a previous interview, you expressed frustration with the current All Stars<\/em> format, so what change would you like to see implemented in future seasons?<\/h3>\n