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\u201cLove is Love\u201d is one of the cornerstones of Pride. A rallying cry that has been chanted at protests, printed on badges and flags, and plastered across every sanitised corporation\u2019s obligatory Pride post. The slogan helped pressure governments into recognising that LGBTQIA+ people deserve the same rights and legal protections as everyone else. In many ways, it worked.<\/p>\n
It has become so acceptable that there are even discussions in the LGBTQIA+ community about whether the phrase should be retired, believing that it has surpassed its role and is now a relic of campaigns past. That we should all move on.<\/p>\n
But we didn\u2019t win \u2013 not all of us. Because in the UK and around the world, disabled people are still waiting for true equal marriage.<\/p>\n
Legally, disabled people can marry. But the benefits system punishes many of us for doing so. In the UK, under the Welfare Reform Act 2012, once a couple is legally married or in a civil partnership, their income is assessed jointly. For disabled people who rely on benefits to survive and to cover the high cost of accessible living, marriage can mean those vital funds are reduced or cut entirely.<\/p>\n
The result? Disabled people are forced into financial dependence on their partners. We risk losing not just money, but freedom. This policy increases the risk of abuse, creates enormous strain on relationships, and reinforces the dehumanising idea that disabled people are a \u201cburden\u201d to be passed from the state to a spouse.<\/p>\n
Many disabled people work. But benefits often cover essential equipment, mobility aids, specialist care and other life-sustaining needs. For those who don\u2019t or can\u2019t work, benefits are a lifeline. That lifeline shouldn\u2019t vanish because we fall in love.<\/p>\n
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According to research by Scope, disabled households need an average of \u00a31,010 more per month to achieve the same standard of living as non-disabled households. Without the additional funds that come from the benefits system, this devastating burden can and does<\/em> destroy lives.<\/p>\n This isn\u2019t marriage equality. This is a system that forces disabled people to choose between independence and intimacy, between family and financial survival. “Love is Love” was supposed to be for all of us.<\/p>\n No disability benefit should be judged based on someone else\u2019s income. No one should have to weigh up whether saying \u201cI do\u201d means losing the ability to live their lives.<\/p>\n As a queer disabled person, I remember the joy of seeing marriage equality finally pass in the UK, and later in Ireland. I remember the tears, the celebrations, the feeling that life was truly getting better for us.<\/p>\n Now, I\u2019m at the age where straight and queer friends are planning weddings, talking flowers and venues and who\u2019s going to cry first at the ceremony.<\/p>\n I\u2019m happy for them. I really am. But I\u2019m also angry. Because if I ever get proposed to, I won\u2019t be able to just say yes. I\u2019ll have to calculate the cost. I\u2019ll have to think about the risk. What happens if my condition progresses and I can no longer work? Would my partner resent me? Would I become another statistic about abused disabled people who can’t afford to leave their spouse? I\u2019ll have to sit my partner down and have that conversation that no one should have to have. The one where I explain that marriage, for me, could mean losing everything I rely on to live.<\/p>\n This Pride season, let\u2019s remember what started all of this. Let\u2019s remember that the fight wasn\u2019t just for rainbow cakes and hashtags, it was about love. It still is.<\/p>\n We need to return to the roots of our movement and demand true marriage equality. For queer people, for disabled people, for all of us. Because love is still love. And love still deserves better.<\/p>\n