{"id":1437240,"date":"2025-06-13T17:02:11","date_gmt":"2025-06-13T16:02:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/?p=1437240"},"modified":"2025-06-13T17:11:47","modified_gmt":"2025-06-13T16:11:47","slug":"darkrooms-backrooms-playrooms-anonymous-sex-guide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/love-sex\/darkrooms-backrooms-playrooms-anonymous-sex-guide\/","title":{"rendered":"A complete guide to darkrooms, anonymous sex and consent"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s no such thing as safe sex, but sex can always be safer. Here, we shed light on how to navigate the dimly lit world of anonymous group sex, its history and how to know when you’re ready to get involved.<\/p>\n

WORDS BY\u00a0KATIE BASKERVILLE<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>

Okay, curious minds, it’s time to demystify the backroom, otherwise known as a blackroom, darkroom or playroom. Maybe you’ve spotted one on a night out and felt compelled to explore, but couldn’t quite bring yourself to do it. Perhaps you’ve been fantasising about anonymous group sex, but are feeling a little shy about making the next step. Or, maybe you’re raring to go and need a couple of pointers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever the case, we’ve got your back.<\/span><\/p>\n

These sexy sensory rooms can be an intense exploration of intimate touching, skin-on-skin contact and unrivalled pleasure. Still, they can also be overwhelming if you’re not clued in on what to expect, how to read (often) non-verbal consent cues or how to express disinterest in someone’s advances.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Here, we bring together advice and experiences from the community along with guidance from experts to help you have the best possible time if you decide to explore these spaces for yourself. But before we hit you with a dos and don’ts list, let’s first give you the lowdown on what to expect so that you can enter these spaces fully aware of the body language and etiquette that make spaces like these so much fun.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What is the backroom?<\/span><\/h2>\n

The backroom is a dimly lit space found in gay clubs (though not exclusively) where people engage in group sex and anonymous sex. No two are the same, and each one will have its own unique layout and vibe, depending on the scene that’s taking place.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You might find glory holes, suckatoriums and tucked away spots for more close-up encounters.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The purpose of these rooms is to create a space for pleasure and anonymity. Despite this, it isn’t a free-for-all where anything goes. Yhere are rules, discretion and a non-verbal code of conduct to adhere to. This can add to the thrill of cruising, but it can also add a layer of complexity for newbies.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Molly Houses, backrooms and the obscured history of homosexual desire and intimacy<\/span><\/h2>\n

Backrooms, <\/span>like saunas<\/span><\/a>, have existed for hundreds of years. In the UK, backrooms were historically known as ‘Molly Houses’, a brick and mortar meeting spot for men looking to have sex with other men, and can be traced back as early as the 17th century. However, it’s almost impossible to pin down where, exactly, they began.<\/span><\/p>\n

“<\/span>You have to remember, these spaces were deliberately obscured; they were never meant to be discovered\u2013unless you were in the know.” <\/span>Says Dr Anthony Delaney, author of <\/span>Queer Georgians: A Hidden History of Lovers, Lawbreakers and Homemakers<\/span><\/i><\/a>, <\/span><\/i>and <\/span>presenter of dark history podcast <\/span>After Dark <\/span><\/i>on the History Hit network, tells Gay Times.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Essentially what I have concluded after years of thralling through the pre-modern queer archive is that as long as what we would term queer people have existed so too has this type of meeting spot in one form or another,” he says.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr Delaney explains that, not unlike today, these were the main spaces where men who wished to meet other men came together to build community, foster intimacy, play with gender norms and have sex. However, unlike today (in the West at least), men who frequented these spaces put themselves in extraordinary danger.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Access was often granted by a patron who was already familiar with the house,” explains Dr Delaney, “because you have to remember, attendance at one of these spaces in the 18th century was quite literally a life and death exchange.”<\/span><\/p>\n

This was thanks to The Buggery Act of 1533, one of Henry VIII’s long lasting pieces of harmful and discriminatory legislation (it wasn’t repealed until hundreds of years later in 1828, and even then\u2026 things only improved marginally). Dr Delaney points out that, because of this legislation, if it could be proven that penetration between an ‘agent’ (a top) or a ‘pathick’ (a bottom) had occurred, then the ‘guilty’ parties could be hanged.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“The molly house itself was not the same thing as what we would understand as a backroom today,” Dr Delaney clarifies, explaining that while some things have stayed the same, other aspects are fundamentally different.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“The molly house was more akin to a proto-gay bar. But within these taverns there were rooms into which men would go together and, as one journalist observed in 1709, ‘enter upon their Beastly Obscenities, and to take those infamous Liberties with one another, that no Man, who is not sunk into a state of Devlisim, can think on without Blushing…'” He recites, “I’ll leave the finer details of what those ‘Beastly Obscenities’ might have entailed to your imagination….”<\/span><\/p>\n

How do I know if I’m ready for backrooms?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Group sex, particularly anonymous group sex, is thrilling, risky and a little dangerous. That is partly why so many people love to do it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Genevieve Collister Brown<\/a>, Psychosexual Relationship Therapist, explains that there is so much to enjoy and be excited about. That being said, there are some questions you can ask yourself before jumping in headfirst to make sure you’re ready for the all-consuming experience of the backroom.<\/span><\/p>\n

Questions to ask yourself:<\/span><\/h3>\n

Brown, who specialises in gender, sex and relationship diversity, suggests the following:<\/span><\/p>\n