{"id":1435887,"date":"2025-06-05T17:08:44","date_gmt":"2025-06-05T16:08:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/?p=1435887"},"modified":"2025-06-05T17:08:44","modified_gmt":"2025-06-05T16:08:44","slug":"gay-as-pejorative-viral-tiktok","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/community\/gay-as-pejorative-viral-tiktok\/","title":{"rendered":"Can the queer community reclaim the use of &#8216;gay&#8217; as a pejorative?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We ask the community if using gay as a pejorative is ever okay. The answers might surprise you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>WORDS BY\u00a0<strong>KATIE BASKERVILLE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/GAY_HEADER.png\" \/><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lost in the infinite scroll of my FYP, I come across the TikTok of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@undiagnosedanthony?_t=ZN-8wvhp8OZ3xO&amp;_r=1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">@undiagnosedanthony<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, whose bubbly promise of a fun little controversial take stops me from swiping to the next piece of soul sucking attention bait.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;I can say this as, unfortunately, I am a little bit of a homosexual,&#8221; he pauses, &#8220;calling things gay is back in, arghhh I said it,&#8221; he grimaces.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" style=\"max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@undiagnosedanthony\/video\/7480084383764909320\" data-video-id=\"7480084383764909320\">\n<section><a title=\"@undiagnosedanthony\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@undiagnosedanthony?refer=embed\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@undiagnosedanthony<\/a> <a title=\"gay\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/gay?refer=embed\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#gay<\/a> <a title=\"lgbt\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/lgbt?refer=embed\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#lgbt<\/a> <a title=\"bi\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/bi?refer=embed\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">#bi<\/a> <a title=\"\u266c original sound - undiagnosedanthony\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/original-sound-7480084457551776528?refer=embed\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u266c original sound &#8211; undiagnosedanthony<\/a><\/section>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The video, which now has 3.8 million views and almost half a million likes, goes on to permit using gay as a pejorative because he feels like the &#8220;gays started it&#8221;, he says.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;I can&#8217;t even help myself,&#8221; he says &#8220;When my brother is acting like a weirdo, I&#8217;m like, stop acting gay. Meanwhile, I&#8217;m roaming around kissing boys.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While Anthony might plead with people to &#8220;sue&#8221; him for having a &#8220;sense of humour&#8221;, I can&#8217;t help but feel that, you know, *gestures at everything*. Given the current deterioration of things globally, and how this is still an improvement in some cases compared to decades passed, that, maybe, now isn&#8217;t the right time to permit &#8220;anyone&#8221; to say stuff they don&#8217;t like is gay.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I&#8217;m not the fun police, and I know this is just a silly little video on the internet, but as someone who went through the schooling system during and after the aftermath of Section 28, and stayed closeted in my sexuality for a very long time, I feel like this video is reckless, privileged and in tremendous poor taste. And, I&#8217;m not alone.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">George Morton, 33, from London, says, &#8220;It&#8217;s a big no from me. I&#8217;d only say it as a complete joke to a very close friend, but otherwise no, thank you xo.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Morton explains that, for him, the post &#8220;reeks of hot cis white man privilege&#8221; and that he feels as though it&#8217;s just been done to get attention. If that&#8217;s the case, well, mission succeeded. &#8220;It&#8217;s just completely unnecessary.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This sentiment is shared by Alyx Weston, 35, from Leicester, who tells <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">GAY TIMES<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that:<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &#8220;Gay as a pejorative isn&#8217;t okay because being gay isn&#8217;t a negative. Using it as a synonym for weird or dumb or horrible is just twattish\u2014even if you&#8217;re gay.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For Ffion Piperson, 33, from Manchester, things aren&#8217;t quite as black and white. She explains that, for her and her wife, joking around and calling things gay is a means of taking it back from people who used it against them as kids and teenagers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;For example, a friend says something cutesy, we might retort \u2018eugh, that\u2019s gay\u2019 and then hug them,&#8221; Piperson explains. &#8220;In this way, it\u2019s a method of addressing sweet, loving emotions without having an overly soppy moment, even though we\u2019re all soppy people and love each other unconditionally.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Between the two of them and their close friends, calling stuff gay is pure sarcasm, &#8220;But we also joke that it\u2019s a hate crime when it rains on Pride weekend, so&#8230; Humour as a coping mechanism?&#8221; Piperson adds.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This seems to be a common occurrence, as Pip, 32, from Northants, explains to <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gay Times<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that when you&#8217;re in a safe space and surrounded by like-minded people, it&#8217;s just a bit of dark humour.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;[Sic] But again, like other dark humour, not appropriate in public or around people who you don\u2019t know. You don\u2019t know if you will upset someone who isn\u2019t aware of the heavy irony, or whether it will be validation for homophobes,&#8221; Pip says, before continuing, &#8221; If it\u2019s genuinely meant as an insult, it\u2019s bad. If it\u2019s used in a pre-understood environment of safety and irony, then it\u2019s different.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And herein lies the difference between a couple of dark, satirical jokes made between two friends who know each other well and intimately enough to push on such a cultural bruise, and someone using that intimacy to garner likes on a social media platform. Centring yourself as the person handing out permission slips to any old Tom, Dick and Harry so long as they aren&#8217;t homophobes is dangerous for so many other people who live in an oppressed state because of their gender, race, religion and sexuality.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Abi Fellows, in her forties, from London, tells me how, just the other day, she and her son we walking along, when a child from her son&#8217;s school yelled &#8220;Gay alert!&#8221; at them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;I went and talked to the head teacher about it because it just felt horrible,&#8221; Fellows tells <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gay Times.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &#8220;She [the teacher] said it&#8217;s rife. And basically coming from kids having homophobic parents.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fellows describes feeling quite shaken. &#8220;I&#8217;m still not sure if they meant me, or if it was because my son&#8217;s hair is long.&#8221;\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This sort of policing Fellows describes is in line with the growing anti trans and gender-policing sentiments we&#8217;re seeing rise across the country.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/yougov.co.uk\/politics\/articles\/51545-where-does-the-british-public-stand-on-transgender-rights-in-202425\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">YouGov,<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> anti-trans sentiment, in particular, has increased across the board since 2022. Meanwhile, 2025 hate crime statistics from <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.statista.com\/statistics\/623990\/sexual-orientation-hate-crimes-in-england-and-wales\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Statista<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> reveal a worrying increase in hate crimes against all LGBTQIA+ people year-on-year.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;I do a lot of lecturing to young students at school,&#8221; begins Alice*, who is a teacher wishing to remain anonymous, who explains, exasperatedly, that trying to reverse the damage done by previous homophobic generations is an uphill struggle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;We were brought up by a generation of homophobic, slur-using people,&#8221; she explains, &#8220;Although the video is in a lighter context, and I believe in reclaiming words and slurs, but man, this is not it.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lucie, 30, from Nottingham, on the other hand, wonders if this backsliding isn&#8217;t a sign of the times. &#8220;I think it\u2019s another symptom of us as a society sinking back into conservatism,&#8221; they explain.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;It\u2019s the same thing with the whole trad wife thing, because people are saying, \u201cbut these women are choosing that life\u201d, but really, oppressed people are assimilating and bending in the face of growing conservatism, misogyny and homophobia.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While Lucie wonders if she&#8217;s reading too much into things, they may just have a point\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p>*Name has been changed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We ask the community if using gay as a pejorative is ever okay. The answers might surprise you. WORDS BY\u00a0KATIE BASKERVILLE Lost in the infinite scroll of my FYP, I\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7558,"featured_media":1436477,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"templates\/feature.php","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21108],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Can the queer community reclaim the use of &#039;gay&#039; as a pejorative?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"According to TikTok, using gay as a pejorative is &quot;okay&quot; again. However, members of the community feel differently...\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/community\/gay-as-pejorative-viral-tiktok\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Can the queer community reclaim the use of &#039;gay&#039; as a pejorative?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"According to TikTok, using gay as a pejorative is &quot;okay&quot; again. 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