{"id":1417298,"date":"2025-01-15T15:58:05","date_gmt":"2025-01-15T15:58:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/?p=1417298"},"modified":"2025-01-29T13:44:03","modified_gmt":"2025-01-29T13:44:03","slug":"lesbian-mothers-custody-documentary-melanie-chait","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gaytimes.com\/justice\/lesbian-mothers-custody-documentary-melanie-chait\/","title":{"rendered":"The ground-breaking documentary which broke the silence on lesbian mothers\u2019 custody struggles"},"content":{"rendered":"

Four decades on from its original release, Sophie Wilkinson speaks with Melanie Chait, the director of the 1985 documentary Breaking the Silence.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

WORDS SOPHIE WILKINSON<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Lesbian mums might be a normal part of LGBTQIA+ culture, but it\u2019s not always been this way. As I recently uncovered for a BBC Radio 4 documentary <\/span>Missing Pieces: The Lesbian Mothers Scandal<\/span><\/i><\/a>, family court judges from the 1970s to the 1990s frequently took custody off of lesbians. <\/span><\/p>\n

Before the advent of artificial and then donor insemination, women would marry men, as was expected of them, have kids, then realise that they were lesbians. They\u2019d divorce, and while there was no specific law banning lesbian mums from keeping custody, judges\u2019 discretion ruled. So lesbians were often considered unfit mothers simply on the basis of their sexuality. During my research I came across at least 30 women affected, but the true number is likely far higher.<\/span><\/p>\n

While there was no specific law banning lesbian mums from keeping custody, judges\u2019 discretion ruled. So lesbians were often considered unfit mothers simply on the basis of their sexuality.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In the documentary, women whose children were taken from them, as well as children affected, speak of the traumatic impacts of being separated, and most of them want an apology from the Government. The Government\u2019s official response was: \u201cThe law in the 1970s and 80s reflected societal attitudes of the time. We now recognise those societal attitudes as deeply discriminatory, and our heartfelt sympathies are with all those who suffered as a result. While we cannot comment on the decisions of judges in individual cases, the government is committed to ensuring equality and fairness in today\u2019s justice system.\u201d As a result, a petition has been set up <\/span>to call for a Government apology<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Back then, organising was different. Support groups and phone lines were set up to help the plight of lesbian mums. And awareness was boosted in 1985, when Melanie Chait\u2019s feature-length documentary, <\/span>Breaking the Silence<\/span><\/i><\/a>, was aired on Channel 4. In it, she speaks to a range of lesbian mothers to find out how they parented, how they lost custody and the sometimes years-long battle to try and regain it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I called Melanie to find out what it was like making that documentary, how hard it was to get it commissioned and what she thinks should happen to those women and their families still dealing with the trauma of being separated from their own kids.<\/span><\/p>\n

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